Jennifer Pearce

Hi there! My name is Jennifer and I am one of the newest members to MomTalk and JustKiddin'. I am a 40-year-old mother who works outside the home. I live with my husband of eleven years and our two young daughters. After being a stay-at-home-mother for six years, I re-entered the workforce when my husband was briefly unemployed. When he returned to work, I chose to keep working due to economics and the age of my daughters at the time. I now work as the advertising manager of a community newspaper and appreciate how working has gotten me much more involved in my community. However, I often miss the opportunity to spend more time with my daughters, or to volunteer more time with their school and activities. My older daughter is a 10-year-old fourth grader, and my younger daughter is a 6-year-old kindergartener. Their many activities and my husband’s complicated work schedule make scheduling our number one family challenge. He works a rotating shift in a retail store that includes many nights and weekends. We struggle to preserve our time together as a family and make the most of it, while still finding time to accomplish our individual goals and pursue our favorite interests. My interests include reading, writing and photography. I love taking family photos and completed a Project 365 in 2010, taking a photo a day for the year. It was a wonderful experience to document our life for a year and appreciate all the little pieces of it. I am currently working to put the 365 pictures into a scrapbook…if I can just find the time. I look forward to sharing our journey with you here on JustKiddin'!

kristen-paulsen

Yes, I’m Just A Mom and Proud of It!

When I left the work force full-time to become a mother I was ecstatic to be able to stay at home with my children.  However, I knew there would be sacrifices, especially since my husband was going into graduate school.  My boss gave me this advice when considering my options, he said, “You can live off of whatever you make, it comes down to modifying your standard of living.”  It was wise advice and I’m pretty sure he knew after my battle to get pregnant and the high risks I had that I was leaning towards not coming back because I did not know if I could have other children.  The decision was made to leave work and become a stay-at-home mother and I have never looked back.

What people don’t prepare you for when becoming a mother is other’s perception on motherhood.  I was constantly asked, “what do you do?,” meaning, what was my occupation.  I was college educated and the assumption was I should be in the workplace.  I know that everyone’s situation is unique and I admire the many moms who are mothers and also full-time bread winners as well.  I feel blessed to have learned to say ‘No’ to the many options for my children and to have learned to sacrifice to be able to stay at home.  It has not always been easy financially or otherwise.  We ate a lot of rice and beans in 7 years post graduate school and study.

I guess I am still surprised when people ask me, “What do you do?”  As if I need to justify my decisions or choices.  I have always worked part-time with my children, although I still will say, “I am a mother to my children.”  With age, I have dropped the “just” a mother bit.  I have realized that being a mother whether working outside the home or not is a full-time job and a combination of many careers.  My education has helped me be a better mother and also given me skills to be able to earn a little on the side.  Being a mother is important to me and to my 3 children.  It is not easy as the picture in the box states, there are no vacations or breaks, but it is important to somebody.

Have you ever felt like you had to justify being a mother either to others or within the workforce?

Bookmark and Share
 

4 Comments on “Yes, I’m Just A Mom and Proud of It!”

  • Laurie June 26th, 2012 3:53 pm

    I’ve only been doing this Stay At Home Mom bit for a year and it seemed like at that one year mark I was approached with the “so NOW what are you going to do?” from people who already knew that my full-time job is being a mommy. It got me thinking that the world expected me to go back to work once she turned a year old, even though it is clear that I have chosen to stay home with my bug. It really took the wind out of my sails. Did this ever happen to you? I think I am going ot try to remove the “just” as well, because I am proud of what I do.

  • Jennifer Pearce June 26th, 2012 9:37 pm

    I’m glad you dropped the “just” from your description, but I think that MOST people who ask aren’t meaning to judge. It’s just a basic getting-to-know you question, like asking where you’re from or whether you are military. My employment has ranged from full-time to part-time to none at all, and I have spent enough time worrying about what I think about my situation. There is no time to worry what the rest of the world thinks!

  • Kristen Paulsen July 2nd, 2012 8:04 am

    This continues to happen to me, unfortunately people who have never had the opportunity to be a full-time parent or who do not understand the importance of motherhood will continue to try to find value outside of the home. It took me a while from being defensive or feeling like I had to justify my decisions or my education. By removing the “just” you take a stand for being a mother and the value you personally have made. You are not just a mother….you are a nurse, educator, care giver, cheerleader, chef, and so much more! Just remember to take care of YOU in the whole process so that you can continue to be the best mother for your little one! I am reminded though…some women need to work to be the best them. My philosophy is, it takes a village to raise a child, but every child needs their mother! I also know from experience that when a mother isn’t there, there are always others who are willing and able to pick up slack, I just wished it was my own.

  • Kristen Paulsen July 2nd, 2012 8:09 am

    You are abosolutely correct that there is no time to worry about what the rest of the world thinks! However, there are plenty of people who do not value the importance of motherhood and question those of us who have decided to stay home full-time. I have had people ask why I even bothered to go to college if I was just going to stay at home and have babies. These are “well intentioned” strangers that were “trying to get to know me,” who also threw out their opinions which were not asked for. If I share what I do and someone comes back with their negative opionion on my decisions, I do take this as a judgement because it was unsolicited. Everyone does what they have to do for their own reasons and none of us can judge another’s circumstances because we do not know people’s private life and past. thanks for the reminder of not wasting our time worrying about it, so true!

Leave a Reply


+ 4 = seven

Health News

A Living Donor

I have previously blogged about organ and tissue donation.  It is a close …

Read More »

Recent Comments